alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize