I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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