Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
