Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
