The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
