I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
i've created a new STD.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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