I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize