chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Mom said you looked used
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
