Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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