I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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