Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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