If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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