Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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