You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
and she was petting her beer can
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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