Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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