A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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