But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We had sex on a dog bed..
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
