After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
