I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize