I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize