He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
My dick has a subreddit
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
