I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
