if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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