so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
