there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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