dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i think my mom watched the whole time
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
i need some magic done to my vagina
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
