so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
