Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Also, beer. Big fan.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize