woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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