I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I am available for nakedness
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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