I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I smell stomach acid.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
