I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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