awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
