who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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