It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize