everyone is single if you try hard enough
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
