Old men and throwing up are my life now.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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