I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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