I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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