I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
