I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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