how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
