Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
