good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
