I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
