Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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