WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
