In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
