Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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