Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
