Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
PANTIES FOUND
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