i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
