Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
