She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Still dying that you shit outside
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
