i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
