If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Do vagina's smell?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
