We got so high we made milksteak
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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