I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
