The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Having a random hookup so left but love u
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
