either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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