This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
