Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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