i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
