Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
