Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
stop calling my apartment porn island.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Im part way to drunk.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
