Me. At least after what I've been through.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
