I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
