U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
