just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
if only i could text you this smell
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
