NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
