I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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