after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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