it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
