Grow some girl-balls and come out already
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
