I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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