I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
