is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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